Chapter 103: How did I Get Here?

I never meant for it to happen. In retrospect, I can see how it happened. Very quietly. Slowly.

And without attention. But it was happening anyways. I ended up with a life that is very much about me. About my stuff. About my emotional well-being. About my happiness. About my benefit.

We moved recently. And as we packed everything up, stored it, moved it, and began unpacking it. I realized I had way too much stuff. Stuff I didn’t even know I had. As I unpacked things, I would discover items and say “hey! I wondered where that went!” And then I would remember that at the time I got it – I just couldn’t live without it. It was so important to my happiness and my personal welfare that it was a “have to” moment.

It made me think about how ‘consumer-driven” I am in my life.

And then I started thinking about how often I do the same thing with my view of God – with my opinion and expectations of His church – and the demands I have placed on Christ.

It is an unintended path but the one easily taken in our Christian walk. We begin by saying things like “I’m not getting fed at church” or “they just don’t meet my needs”. “I want a church that unlocks the praise in my soul” or “I wish our church was more like ____.” It might sound well-intentioned – even meaningful and insightful – but the pronouns are all about us. Satan is pretty good at that in my life.

Very quietly, slowly and without noticing, I become a Christian who is about looking for reasons why I "can't" be happy. I become a Christian who is about looking