Chapter 183: Amazing Love

Updated: Dec 13, 2020

You have amazing love for me. It is amazing because I know what I am capable of. I know what thoughts escape my imagination at the blink of an eye and are instantly turned into bitterness, lust, and fantasy. I know the words that are never spoken but are created out of hate, jealousy, and hurt.

These words are directed at those who don’t seem to understand me or who take me for granted. Even though these words never emerge from my lips, a thousand secret desires flash before my own inner judgment table to be accepted or denied as response to my world. No one else will ever know these things about me. No one else will ever fathom the sin i am capable of. But I know what I am capable of.

You have amazing love for me. I have come before You with a million requests and selfish needs. You have answered my call anyway. I go away praising my relationship with you in song and yet having never known you.

I am like nine lepers who forgot everything the instant they were healed of their worry. I know what I am capable of.

You have amazing love for me, however. My heart is never the same after I have learned what it means to be loved by You. To be received, to be forgiven, to be changed. Even after all that I have imagined and all that I have hated, and all that I have prided myself on; even after all of this You are willing to accept me and tell me even I can be molded again in Your image. Even I am capable of this. You have an amazing love for me.

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